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WQAdmin
Listen to the Reader
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By: SonaeSun
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The words in this story draw you to the pond. Although the ending is sad, it was worth the walk to get there.
The Pond in the Woods
By: WQAdmin
Charlie walked along the brown, muddy trail, which glistened
ominously in the moonlight. Small, bright and cheery stars
peppered the sky with their specks of light, and the tall
trees loomed above, standing guard and dancing, as the wind
whistled sharply through their branches.
The boy climbed over a fallen tree, dull and dark, even in
the moonlight. It’s branches stuck out in contorted
ways, the roots mangled about.
He continued on and followed the trail as it led him into
the mouth of the forest. Frogs croaked, crickets chirped, but
yet, it seemed almost quiet. Charlie reached the trail’s
end, and closed his eyes abruptly in reminiscence.
***
“Where are we going?” Charlie asked his
grandfather as they stepped out into a field, where a long,
winding, muddy trail lay ahead.
“I want to show you a special place,” his
grandfather replied, with a twinkle in his dull blue eyes. The
two set off along the trail, the grandfather walking at a
moderate place, limping, as the young boy followed eagerly,
close behind.
They reached the edge of the forest, and Charlie looked
around fearfully.
“What are we doing here?” he asked nervously.
“The forest is dark, and scary, and -”
“You are with me,” his grandfather replied,
smiling slightly. “And besides, this place that I am
about to show you is perfectly safe.” He stopped, then
continued on. Charlie looked down at the ground for a moment,
then hurried to catch up.
The forest was cool and quiet, with a few rays of sunlight
peeking through the large trees, reflecting light on the
forest floor. Charlie’s grandfather walked ahead
knowingly, towards a small pond. He put a finger on his lip in
silence, and creeped on, tip-toeing. Charlie copied the
action, and peered around his grandfather.
The pond was shimmering. It was sparsely covered by
cattails and water lilies, upon which a bullfrog was sitting,
croaking hoarsely. There was a small splash as a minnow
surfaced, then swam down again. Dragonflies perched upon and
flew above the cattails, darting around in short bursts of
speed. And at the water’s edge, with legs splayed as it
dipped its head slowly into the water, was a beautiful white
tailed deer.
Charlie opened his eyes in awe. The deer was - there was
no other word to describe it - majestic. It’s glossy
chocolate brown fur fell down at its sides in shaggy rows, its
deep brown eyes were gleaming, its jet black hooves polished,
and intricate antlers sat atop its head. Charlie pointed
excitedly. Grandfather nodded.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he whispered
softly, and Charlie nodded vigorously. Seeing the movement,
the deer’s head shot up and it looked around, ears
twitching nervously. Upon spotting the two, it sprang off,
leaving dust in its wake. Charlie looked glumly at the
ground.
“I wish it stayed longer,” he said longingly.
“We’ll find it some other time,”
Grandfather said. They headed back up the muddy trail, back
home.
***
Charlie’s eyes opened up again, and he continued
onward, his feet pattering on the ground softly. At the edge
of his view, he saw a small, shimmering pond. He approached it
softly, tip-toeing. He turned, with his back against a tree,
and, hardly daring to breathe, peered around to get a look at
the pond.
Cattails and water lilies covered the pond, almost hiding
the water from view. Tadpoles zoomed under the surface of the
water, and two frogs sat together on a water lily. Multitudes
of minnows joined the tadpoles in mindless swimming, and the
dragonflies darted above. Charlie drew in his breath sharply.
A lone tombstone sat beside the water, staring sadly at
the water. Engraved into it were these words:
Will Erves
1936-2001
Grandfather of Charlie Erves
Keeper of the pond
Charlie sat down and started crying. His tears trickled
slowly down his face, and then dropped to the ground. His face
became red and puffy, and he sniffled softly. A sudden
clip-clop made him stop. Eyes wide, he looked up.
The majestic, white tailed deer was there. Behind him was
his family. They stood together, and stared out across the
pond, at Charlie. Almost knowingly, they seemed to nod at him.
He stood up, looked back at them, and smiled.
“Goodbye Grandpa,” he whispered, then turned
and walked away, his footsteps echoing until they faded out.
Comments
Poll Results
Refresh
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Is It Interesting? 3 Vote(s)
93.3333333333%
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Are the sentences smooth? 3 Vote(s)
90%
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Is the narrative voice appropriate? 3 Vote(s)
86.6666666667%
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Are the word choices good? 3 Vote(s)
80%
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Is the dialogue believable (if any)? 3 Vote(s)
80%
Founded by Steve & Judy
Romantic story. Liked the turning of tables with the deer's family watching Charlie.