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Writer Notes
Zombies causing carnage in the town of Raven.
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MISSION: ZOMBIES' WASTE
By: Ti78
MISSION:ZOMBIES’WASTE
The town of raven is overrun by flesh and brain-eating zombies.
After a biological waste was spilled in the town’s water
supply. A warning from the center for disease control is
echoing through radios that were left on in the town.
“This is not a drill, evacuate immediately gather what
YOU NEED. Stay at your own risk.’ The army makes their
way through to ensure that the people are evacuating. The army
is there to complete mission: codename zombies’ waste.
The captain calls on the radio, “troops we need to move
in and do what we are here to do, and time is of the
essence.” The army patrols the streets and checking
every home to make sure they are cleared. The army is
exterminating zombies as they make their way through streets
after streets. The zombies have devoured so many people in
their path. Bodies fill the streets with blood and carnage.
The troops look at every body to make sure they are not
zombies; killing the ones that were zombies. Zombies hear the
troops making their way through. The Zombies try to overcome
the army, but it’s a losing battle. The army is prepared
and determined to end the zombies’ existence; before the
plague makes it way throughout the United States. The
government has developed a mass for destruction bomb; to do
away with the zombies. But they need a plan to have all the
zombies within the same vicinity, in order for the plan to
work. The captain decided to use a horn to lure the zombies to
a deserted high school. The zombies are drawn to loud noises.
The captain also has a helicopter waiting with the bomb in the
air for command. The zombies make their way through growling
and snarling. They are looking for more fresh meat to devour
and feed their void. The troops fire repeatedly at the zombies
as they make their way towards them. The troops are running
low on ammo and hoping that the captain will come up with an
idea soon. The captain called on the radio to the troops,
“attention we have a plan in motion for mission:
codename zombies’ waste. We need to lure the zombies to
the deserted high school. So we can drop a bomb on them once
they’re inside.” The troops said “roger
that.” The captain said “we need to move fast and
be accurate we only get one chance at this.” The
captain ordered for the horn to be sounded off. The horn was
sounded off, the zombies scrambled and started running heading
towards the sound of the horn. The zombies are drooling and
expecting more warm human entrées. The helicopter pilot
observes from above, watching the zombies make their way to
the high school. The pilot is thinking to himself, “I
hope this plan works.” The zombies are making their way
into the high school, trampling over each other to get to the
buffet, they hope is awaiting them. The captain radios the
troops “ok troops mission: zombies’ waste is
almost ready. Just a few more zombies need to make their way
into the high school. Then we can drop the bomb.” The
troops said “roger that, we wait for your
command.” The pilot holds onto the release button for
the bottom, with excitement in his eyes. I just have a little
while longer he thought. The zombies have finally filled the
high school. The troops barricade the doors and secured them
with chains and a lock. The captain radios the pilot,
“Release the bomb after the count of 10.” The
pilot said “roger that, will do.” The pilot said
“countdown 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 mission:
zombies’ waste.” The pilot releases the bomb; it
makes its way to the school. The pilot flies higher up away
from the school before it explodes. The troops clear the area
to a safety zone. The pilot looks from a distance the boom
has reached the school. Fire and smoke filled the sky like a
mushroom. It was like seeing an atomic bomb explode. The
captain radios the pilot “can you hear or you still
there?” the pilot said “I’m here mission:
zombies’ waste is complete.” “Great
job!” Said the captain. “Thanks” said the
pilot. The captain radios the troops “attention troops,
mission: zombies’ waste was a success. The zombies have
been exterminated; now we need to destroy the dead bodies
through the town.” The troops wearing protective gear
start piling the dead bodies to be burned. The stench of
rotting flesh fills the air. A radio announcement comes on
air “attention, if anyone can hear this message. We are
located in the town of haunting. We need help and being
outnumbered by the zombies. We are hiding out in witch
hazel’s grocery store if anyone can hear this message,
please respond.” The troops and the captain heard the
message. They looked at each other “do you guys think we
can handle another mission: zombies’ waste asked the
captain?” The troops said “sir yes sir.” The
captain got on his radio to reach out to the people in need.
“This is the captain of the United States army we are
willing to assist and will make our way to you ASAP.”
The man on the other end thanked the captain with tears in his
voice. “It’s what we do serve the people of our
country” said the captain. “We will be here
waiting for arrival” the man said. “Ok troops
let’s get these bodies burning so we can roll out
shouted” the captain.
Poll Results
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-
Is It Interesting? 4 Vote(s)
87.5%
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Are the sentences smooth? 4 Vote(s)
70%
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Is the narrative voice appropriate? 4 Vote(s)
60%
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Are the word choices good? 4 Vote(s)
65%
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Is the dialogue believable (if any)? 4 Vote(s)
40%
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Comments
In terms of writing: I love your first sentence because you just jump right into it. I also love your bold choice to write in the present tense, which is n...
I noticed a couple of words that should be capitalized, such as the town of Raven, Center for Disease Control and code ...