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Listen to the Reader
My addiction
By: Earl
I used to be addicted to stealing. At some point it was out of
control. I would steal anything from pins to full boxes of
merchandise. But one bad day put my bad habit all to an end.
This habit all started my 9th grade year. After school my
friend john and I overheard our friends talking about stealing
from a local store. The six of them asked if we wanted to go.
We said that we weren't sure about it. They said that if
you’re really cool you’ll come with us. That was
more than enough to persuade us to go along with them. After
class of all eight of us walked down the street into the store
with empty backpacks. On the way there we all made a bet. The
bet was the person to steal the most wins half of
everyone’s stuff. Once we walked in to the store I was
terrified. But my competitive spirit wouldn't let me
lose. The store employees told all of us to leave our bags at
the door. I left my books next to my bag. I put my bag in a
corner by the candy isle. I left my bag half opened enough for
me to put stuff in and so no one would see it. I just started
walking around the store looking for things I wanted. I made
small talking with the employers asking them if they liked
there job, and if they were hiring. After that I just started
going crazy. I was grabbing everything from candy to
headphones to Pokémon cards. I didn't even like
Pokémon cards but if it fitted in my bag I was getting
it. When it got to the point that every pocket in my bag was
full, I started stuff my pockets. Then I even started shoving
stuff on my belt line. When it was time to leave my friends
and I left the store one at a time. I grabbed my backpack and
left. When I got outside my friends and started bragging. I
had stolen the most things so I had won. After we announced
the winner I realized I left my books in the store. I had
walked in a left my bag outside the store. When I walked in I
noticed that all the people in the store we on register. So I
walked to the candy isle again just because. Then I saw a box
of nerd. Instead of grabbing just one box of nerds I grabbed
the box that was holding the box of nerds. And I walked out
the store with my back to the door, sticking my tongue out at
the workers as they were too busy doing their job to pay
attention to me. I grabbed my bag and the nerds and walked to
see my friends. They were astonished by the amount of things I
had brought them. They treated me like royalty giving my high
fives and jumping around. They started calling me the king
thieves. And we would continue to do this every day after
school. And I would always win.
Comments
Corrie
I think it is very brave of you to admit in writing to this, which I am assuming is true since it is in the non-fiction category. It would make a good young adult fiction story if it wasn't true. Your writing "voice" is very strong and believable.
I was confused because you mentioned early in the sto...I think it is very brave of you to admit in writing to this, which I am assuming is true since it is in the non-fiction category. It would make a good young adult fiction story if it wasn't true. Your writing "voice" is very strong and believable.
I was confused because you mentioned early in the story about how you stopped after one really bad day, but then the rest of the story is about how your got away with this instead of telling about the events which made you want to stop. I would like to read that part in this story or a different story.
I was confused because you mentioned early in the sto...I think it is very brave of you to admit in writing to this, which I am assuming is true since it is in the non-fiction category. It would make a good young adult fiction story if it wasn't true. Your writing "voice" is very strong and believable.
I was confused because you mentioned early in the story about how you stopped after one really bad day, but then the rest of the story is about how your got away with this instead of telling about the events which made you want to stop. I would like to read that part in this story or a different story.
- October 10, 2014
- ·
judy_ann
Good voice and diction but be careful of grammar and punctuation. I wasn't sure how to read because of misspelled words and punctuation. Always roof read like Im doing now with this comment, lol. It makes a tremendous difference. But all in all it was interesting and I wanted to read more, so write...Good voice and diction but be careful of grammar and punctuation. I wasn't sure how to read because of misspelled words and punctuation. Always roof read like Im doing now with this comment, lol. It makes a tremendous difference. But all in all it was interesting and I wanted to read more, so write more. :p
- November 2, 2014
- ·
Poll Results
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Is It Interesting? 2 Vote(s)
85%
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Are the sentences smooth? 2 Vote(s)
85%
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Is the narrative voice appropriate? 2 Vote(s)
90%
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Are the word choices good? 2 Vote(s)
80%
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Is the dialogue believable (if any)? 2 Vote(s)
45%
Founded by Steve & Judy
Good voice and diction but be careful of grammar and punctuation. I wasn't sure how to read because of misspelled words and punctuation. Always roof read like Im doing now with this comment, lol. It makes a tremendous difference. But all in all it was interesting and I wanted to read more, so write more. :p